Shut-Bull-Are

I DON'T WANT TO QUIT THE BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

and I don't want to go to sleep, but are very inefficient at the moment and will probably do so anyway.

 

I DON'T WANT TO QUIT THE BLOG!

but haven't got anything more to write.

 

As a swede, I have to complain.

My foot hurts! and my other foot too. And the infektion aint making it better. And i will get a bill for some amount of money, which i dont want to spend. I'll rather go blind!

I have too much to do this upcoming week, and it will not pass without diaphragm and nose bleed, thats a fact. And ive sleept far too little in too many days. i want coffee. i want to sleep. i want to do something. i want you to listen to satan takes a holiday. DAMN they're good!

There is a lot of stress going on. It's the last year in Gymnasiet and I have no intention to keep on studying. Everyone will go separate ways and then.. we'll die.

It's a huge part of the “growing-up”process I guess, so I came to think of my childhood heroes. :D

We're talking about the most Swedish animals there is!

Let's start with our bear. The strongest bear in the world in fact!

 -Bamse, how come he's the strongest?

- Because he's a junkie. He's addicted to the honey which his grandma provides him with. And without it he's powerless.

Bamse lives in a comic book made for children, but right now I'm thinking about if he really is a good role-model..

a junkie.. grandmas honey..

-HOLY SHIT! I destroyed Bamse for myself with this contribution. Damn!

 

Oh! Why are the biggest “for-child” characters in Sweden the strongest? We do have Pippi Longstocking too.. and they're both big idols for kids.. -

-Perhaps we secretly wish for our kids to go to war? Or fight often? Kill each other?
Or just being plain obnoxious.

 

The other one is someone close to my heart.

Grodan Boll, a great character which I admire awfully much. A stupid, friendly creature whom always gets in adventures.

 

-In one really old grodan boll film, from 1956, he really is a grotesk racist. But he's been doing a great deal of progress since, and now he really is totally awesome :)

-And his racist days are over for forever! 

Woho! 

Alcohol is a form of drug. Its Ok as long it's not about alcoholics and unpleasant people. I think alcohol is such huge thing for us swedes since we're such uptight people, we have a issue when it comes to relaxing. You cant blame us for it since we live in this cold, strict country.

-We need help!


On Friday I felt really really ill, and it was a party going on in my corridor. With my bouncing headache I disliked the music they played, whatever it was they played.

-But it wasn't even late and I really didn't care so much for it, UNTIL! Two blonds were screaming outside my window, on the fire stairs. And they were really screaming their lungs out, with their awful voices.





One was going to kill herself, the other one was angry on the first girl and wanted to go back to the party.


The weirdest mess i've ever heard. A bit funny though.

The girl who wanted to go back to the party finally went back and left her friend screaming and crying with someone else consoling her. Next day they all were in peace. Like nothing had happend. Stupid people I say!


-These girls are a good example of what we call fjortisar. People who knows how to dress but not how to behave. A false group of people whom are totally incompetent when it comes to stand up on their own. People who are bitches and saints in one.

stereotypically id say they look like this.

Laying in bed all morning, a very long morning i must ad, reading and studying, i suddenly realized that nothing has been mentioned about films. Even though it's a huge part of todays generation and culture.

In a week I'd say that a “normal” person in my age sees at least 3 films per week.

AT LEAST.

-This entrance will be added for the sake of humanity!

 

The best Swedish film Ive seen, must be Den osynlige (The Invisible) from 2002. Fact is that my favorite Swedish actress is in it, Tuva Novotny.

 

 

-It  is so good, and brilliant, that the Americans decided to make an terrible (or terriblE -if you'll pardon my French) remake in 2007.

 

 

The most famous Swedish movie-series must be Beck. About Martin Beck. A Swedish police with his brutal police-mate, Gunvald who just screams at everyone and beats them up, and becks alcoholic to neighbor called Ingvar.

 

I would call it the swedes respond to James Bond.

 

See the likeness..

 

The only difference between James Bond and Martin Beck is that Bond has a lot of one night stands and Beck.. not.

 

-and that Beck is old and  Bond old, BUT not so old. And Bond think of himself as a charming fellow.

That Beck needs an sidekick to become more interesting and Bond rather stay single in all matters. Beck has a daughter and Bond nice cars. Bond likes traveling and Beck stays at home, even in the winter. Bond LOVES to dress for all events, even as a smurf, Beck looks the same most days.

 

But they both has surnames beginning with the letter B!

 

-Both wont die.

 

 

I love to hear new music and artist, just follow the different music waves and guess who will become the next great thing. Therefore I spend a lot of my time searching in all kind of genres to dig out the best of the best.

And not to forget, the best throughout time.

 

Sometimes, just sometimes, i get to hear some Swedish musician whom spread pride over our small country.

 

Sooo lets bring up some swedes, right?

 

Last spring I heard this girl

 

 

-Adiam Dymott, and as long as she wont have to follow her real “life-plan” then I would say that even if it just was a brief moment she took on the stage, she can go far. A funny thing is that she'd never dreamt of becoming a musician, it was all a big coincidence.

 

 

A huge thing in Sweden, as in everywhere in the world right now, is the so called ”idol”series, some devilry we´ve inherited by the British. -Gosh how blonde we swedes are!

The stupidest idea ever. BUT! For two series ago this kiddo gave it a go. And if anything; she'll leave you speechless.

 

 

Anna Bergendalh will also be standing on tomorrows final “schlagerfestival” (something I've mentioned about in a earlier blog entrance) perhaps she'll win.

Perhaps not.

But be so sure! It's not the last time this woman will use her voice.  -That is, if she'll wont be killing all the other rivals with her guitar strings. Oh! Notice how her guitar mysteriously disappears in the video.

 

PS. I wrote this yesterday so the final music contest part is today. And I thought i should mention more shit, but the entrance is long already, and i don't bloody feel like it. ;P

 

One of my favorite Swedish feature about myself is something that other Swedish folks often find a strong disliking for.

I'm talking about slurping. The loudest way of drinking.

To have a warm cup of.. anything, and just slurp it all, as loud as possible, down the throat.
Nothing beats it.

I'm sitting here with a cup of coffee at the moment. (or almost.. in a minute. I've MENTALLY started to drink it)

And oh my gosh my jolly how I love it!
I guess the slurping makes the coffee 5707564853533257887879 times better!

-according to me.

 

MORE SLURPING FOR THE people!

 

Correction : in Sweden we hate slurpers, but I love to slurp and have strong suspicion that everyone does it in secret. What ever they pretend to think about it in general^^

Guys could especially be categorized into 2 sports; the hockey gays (hockey bögar) and the football geeks (fotbolls nördar).

Almost every guy have attended at least one of those sports for some time. Of course there are exceptions too.
-(eg.) The ones whom in a early age got stuck on WoW etc.

 

For girls on the other hand, hockey isn't a common sport to play, even though it's a huge thing in our society.

Since sweden is a country which aims at getting equal between the gender, we've solved this problem by getting horses. For the non-hockey(or football)-playing girls.

 

What else is there to do in the spare time?

I've got no clue. The most common thing is to just hangout somewhere.

 

We've got a lot of youth houses (ungdomsgårdar), where young people just waits for something to do.

 

I myself used to hang in performance facilities where (mostly) local bands had their gigs.

 

The ones who actually got patiens have a tendency to use all their time to learn something and gain some heavy skills. Like playing guitar,
..or painting toenails.

 

Non-celebrity celebrities.

 

In sweden we've got a lot of them. The non-celebrity celebrities. People who are famous, even though you've got no clue of what the hell they're doing in your television. Like Dolph Lundgren. Who the hell is Dolph Lundgren?!

 

I thought they brought the wrong guy in to host our melodifestival.

It's one of the things you cant miss in Sweden, our contest about who gets to go to the Eurovision song contest.

-Something that will keep on haunting you through 6 month or so, even though you might not give a damn.

 

Anyway, since it is such a huge thing in sweden with its enormous “no-music-interested”-audiences, it's quite disturbing to know that the only 3 hosts this year is;

a no-gifted comedian,

a lame “lack-of-personality”-singer and then of course the mysterious Dolph lundgren. And this is considered to probably be the most followed thing on tv through out the whole year!

..accept for Donald duck on christmas eve, (1500 o'clock 24/12 every single year, -Swedes and their traditions)

and they still cant dig out good hostes. This Dudes and dudettes is what we like to call Sweden. A host-less country.

 

Anyhow

The melodifestival is a kval-tävling wich goes on for about ten weeks.. or hundred. Its impossible to see the end of that tunnel.

 

Melodifestivalen.. also used to be called schlagerfestvalen.

Schlager.

(Schlager -A very swedish musicstyle, suited for people who never takes time to listen to real music.)

 

But still, who is dolph?

..Lets pretend he's a skier. :)

 Could this be Dolph? x)

When you're going out for a typical shopping trip, to get some groceries, it's a standard procedure to always forget something.
So, If the only thing you need is milk, you will get home with at least 2 shopping bags.

-But without the milk.

 You will also go through the whole store at least twice, since you are in such a hurry to get out that
you missed to get the milk (lets say that you remembered it this time).

Why the hurry?
Because it's people every were and, as a Swede, your survival instinct will tell you to get your food fast.
-Before anyone else will take it.
     It's like a sport. And you wouldn't want to get stuck, while a bunch of old peoples will stand with their big empty shopping carts, in your way to the bread.


 And then there is the risk of meeting someone that you doesn't want to stay for a chat with.

 

But the greatest and most common thing of all is the fact that NO Swede will take the product that stands in the front. If you, for example, would take a jar of jam, you'll grab one that is in the bottom or further in. NEVER the one you will see at the first sight. NEVER.
-At least not as a swede.

 

Smörgåsbord, in Sweden we love food, therefore we cook a lot of different foods, cold and warm,
and serve all at one large table. For everyone to take.
-Why this is called a smörgåsbord (smorgasbord) I have no idea. But we sweds love our smörgåsar (sandwiches) and perhaps we just named it thereafter..

Tårta (almost cake) - in our language we've got seperated words for a lot of pastries. It's in the english language to, but since this is holy words i thought it a good idea to put it out in the world.

We have the
kakor; a hard sweet bred, crunchy stuff. (cockies)
Bullar; a sweet bread often in the form of kanelbullar. (buns)
and then there is the holyness of all and my standing point for this entry:

Tårta ; a layer-to-layer cake, often used as a birthdaycake. Or smörgåstårta – a layer-on-layer smörgås (sandwich). A more “healthy” piece of cake
-according to old folks..

just a proof of our love for pastaries, we have diffrent "cake-days" :D like for example; kanelbullens-dag ("cinnamon bun-day") throughout the year

love it!

I've travelled a lot through Sweden, however I've never been in the northernmost north or southernmost south. So that's my travelling-in-Sweden goal for myself.

Sweden is a, sort of, calm country. If you want to visit a town, for the city life, I'll strongly advice you to go to Gothenburg, not Stockholm. Stockholm is however a bit cosier town to walk around in.
And as a huge on-the-road-fan I'll recommend to take some time on the Swedish roads, rent a car.

There is a lot of different festivals on the summer, look it up and you'll probably find some intresting and fun event.

One more thing to visit is the small island Gottland, you'll love it.

And do not forget to go to the region called “dalarna” in order to buy a real Swedish “dalahäst”. (it's a wooden horse hardcore-hand-painted in a weird style, really swedish I'm telling you..)
-without it your trip would be a waste!

-And eat knäckebröd. The driest bread ever invented by mankind. It rocks!

..or you will find that it's like eating rocks.
It's up to you.

 -The school system is made up by a bunch of old blokes whom totally forgotten what it's like in school.

If you've got the privilege to survive those 9 years of compulsory school, you're up to make the biggest choice of your life. You'll decide in what field your studies will lie in for three years.

You chose in which direction your life is about to take, do you want to work with people or vehicles, have a good education or a fun education, do you want to study further or gain life experience.
   
It's not easy, chances are that you'll feel like your rolling a dice between death and life. While you're 16 you are not supposed to know what to do in the future, but you'll have to.
A lot of people change direction after some time. So if you've made the wrong decision you'll have an oppoturnity to start something else. This might however take some of your precious time.

Now, you're taken at least 12 years looked inside school, and a lot of people (I don't know why, because why make it worse? I don't get it.) then decides to study more!

The whole education until that stage is free, and mostly compulsory.. while the next stage is a bit more expensive, you'll pay for all material etc. And often you'll have to move (or want to move anyway).

The bright side:
your chances of being attractive on the labor market might increase.

The reality side:
You'll probably end up with debts so enormous that it will take the rest of your life to pay it back.

-..and then you'll die.

By swedish law every kid is forced to spend at least 9 years of their lives in school.

It starts early, you attend first grade while you're seven years old (some exceptions are made, when the parents wants their child to start a year earlier).
    Since kids in that age are very easy to trick, while all they want is to grow up fast as hell, this isn't any issue. however they will pretty soon realize that the school is the most devilish,evil,dark force in the world...
-..In which the biggest part of your childhood is brutaly taken away.
[update] Forgot to mention the preschool thing! But now it is mentioned. :)

A nice thing about Swedish schools is that like 99% of them serves lunch :D
Yeay!
..the less nicer part is that in most cases the lunch is disgusting and all kids hate it.
I especially remember those days, those bloody Tuesdays, when the kitchen decided that fish was equal to something good. Every bloody Tuesday..

I hate fish. Always have and always will. May it be cursed! Mohahaha!

The worse part was that in the lower classes you warrant allowed to take your own food, it was an evil kitchen lady who did that for us. and if she'd ever saw you throwing it away she got furious! She once got so mad that when our teacher found out she went straight to the kitchen lady and had a huge argue.
    In 1^st to 6^th grade each class had just one teacher, which a think is great. A lot happens around the school and it's nice to have someone whom really knows their pupils.
-and ofcourse, someone whom can take up a fight against the kitchen ladies.

 I'll write another contribution later on about what happens after these 9 years. ;) in order to not bore you out completely.

To be exactly-like-everyone-else is about as Swedish you can get .
Sweds are a population which, stereotypically, aim to be as mainstream as possible. In fact, it is so Swedish that it would be against the law to be something else.
Really!

..The famous so called Jante law.

Basically it's about how you, in NO way, should believe that you're more than someone else. You're neither better, more important nor smarter than your neighbour.

But if you're thinking of breaking the law, I'll congrat you.

Perhaps you'll become more loved and fancied than everyone else.
...But it is also likely that people will hate your guts, - and dig out your heart with a teaspoon made in wood.

still, it just... might be worth it.

That's how the swedish law system is built. :)
By a Dane.